I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
