She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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