..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
