Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
