East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
3 2 1 whiskey
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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