Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
