New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
