If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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