That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
