Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize