i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
