I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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