it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
