Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
