is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize