Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
