You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
