Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
