just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just blew my weed a kiss
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
