he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize