Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
