Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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