margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
