i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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