I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
