We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize