She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
