you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
