We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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