Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
