Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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