Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
