She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
