it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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