If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
