Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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