Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
