I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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