I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
