nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
