he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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