I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize