Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
