I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
