theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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