i just google imaged poop.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize