Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
