I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
