i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
