WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
