Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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