Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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