I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
