using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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