what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
