Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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