Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
