haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
