Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
