is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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