i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
