So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
