I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
