Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
