come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
