You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
