Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
