im having a threesome with these popsicles
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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