what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
